I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
