we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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