i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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