I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My dad is sitting where you rode me
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
