Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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