Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
