His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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