good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
