remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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