i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
