I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Randomize
