Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.

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  (253): My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support. http://tfl.nu/g29g
  Replies (4) Good night (773) Bad night (2607)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with

  (217): View more from Illinois

  well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment

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  (610): thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with (217): well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment http://tfl.nu/vbkf
  Replies (23) Good night (1516) Bad night (2439)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.

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  (515): he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants. http://tfl.nu/e70d
  Replies (31) Good night (744) Bad night (4850)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone

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  (585): Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone http://tfl.nu/rrl6
  Replies (3) Good night (4168) Bad night (861)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.

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  (704): It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States. http://tfl.nu/t1qp
  Replies (16) Good night (6474) Bad night (972)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.

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  (317): update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good. http://tfl.nu/p2ef
  Replies (6) Good night (3925) Bad night (745)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro

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  (678): The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro http://tfl.nu/6idu
  Replies (13) Good night (3701) Bad night (1103)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean

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  (317): She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean http://tfl.nu/wqi7
  Replies (11) Good night (839) Bad night (4270)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.

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  (804): Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina. http://tfl.nu/ugq6
  Replies (14) Good night (3233) Bad night (1113)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.

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  (517): In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast. http://tfl.nu/cv6o
  Replies (4) Good night (2565) Bad night (1105)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  Soup is delicious

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  (970): I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup. (1-970): Soup is delicious http://tfl.nu/y0l8
  Replies (12) Good night (4869) Bad night (1045)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.

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  (515): I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes. http://tfl.nu/92xn
  Replies (14) Good night (1779) Bad night (639)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.

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  (330): Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out. http://tfl.nu/uvib
  Replies (7) Good night (946) Bad night (429)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.

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  (443): Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her. http://tfl.nu/t8u7
  Replies (0) Good night (531) Bad night (399)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.

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  (402): There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans. http://tfl.nu/d410
  Replies (4) Good night (804) Bad night (278)

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