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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?

  (940): View more from Texas

  homeless.

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.

  (804): View more from Virginia

  i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.

  (786): View more from Florida

  that would mean it's on tape

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester

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• (858): View more from California

  for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex

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• (716): View more from New York

  I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts

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  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (858): View more from California

  Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.

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• (510): View more from California

  Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.

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• (711): View more from

  So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there

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