i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My liver is preforming stress tests.