the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.