I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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