There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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