I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
