Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
When did angry sex become our thing?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
