now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize