I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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