You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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