You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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