we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We're too hungover to prance.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
