No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
