So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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