just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
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