I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
