So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
