today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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