Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
