so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
