it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
