this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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