Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
