well I can't set my house on fire every night
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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