im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize