i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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