my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
