i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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