Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
