Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
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i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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