I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
