Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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