Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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