Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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