i need an iv and a liver transplant
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
