hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize