I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You are a genius and a whore.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
