Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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