I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
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