Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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