Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My breasts were aching with rage.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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