Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?