Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My bed smells like the plague
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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