He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
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official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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