I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
