I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
this is an emotional support booty call
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
