I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
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Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize