it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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