I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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