i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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